You know how you have a day off, but your kids still have to go to school and you scream, "This is going to be GLORIOUS!", and it immediately goes downhill when you shovel the driveway for the fifth time in a week, and drop off the kids at school (which is not the same as dropping them off at the pool) and they argue the whole time, then you go to the ob/gyn and get a pap smear, and after that you go to the grocery store for the first time since December 23rd and trudge through the snow with a very full cart, then go to the pharmacy and find out they don't have your medicine in stock, and after you take your boatload of food home and put it away you go to your mom's house to shovel her driveway, and you're sweating, and coughing, and it's heavy, and your coffee is cold, and then a man comes across the street with his snowblower and finishes the job for you, and that man is 90 years old, and he smiles at you, and having crossed his (snowblown) path makes your heart happy and the day ends up being glorious after all?

Yeah, me too.

Labels: A Day in the Life, Question of the Day, Ramblings, The Places in My Neighborhood

Labels: Photos, Ramblings, The Places in My Neighborhood

Labels: Kids, Photos, Shameless Statements, The Places in My Neighborhood

1. If your 75 year old mother is preparing to move and keeps telling you how hard it is because she "has so much stuff", you won't believe her until you see it for yourself.

2. Because apparently you can't have too many vases.

3. Or soap dishes.

4. Or canister sets.

5. And, clearly, everyone needs a set of everyday dishes and three separate sets of fine china.

6. Your sister, who lives with your mother part-time, and who was home ALL summer, may suddenly disappear to northern Ohio for "grad school" and "trade shows" and won't come home from the time your mother decides to move, until one week after the move is completed.

7. Which leaves you to pack her stuff up.

8. And, when I say "pack" I mean put her things into hodge-podge boxes, cart them across town, lug them into the new house and up a flight of steps, then throw them in a corner.

9. Your sister is lucky you love her.

10. Because she's a pack-rat.

11. You may be really excited to have this Friday off work, only to realize your mom really wants you to paint her new living room and dining room.

12. Your mom is lucky you love her too.

13. And when your mom lives just two minutes away instead of 25 minutes away, all of this will be worth it.

Labels: Family Life, Random Realizations, The Places in My Neighborhood

Yesterday morning, I tested my level of parenting endurance when the school where I work said they needed me to leave my second grade class for the day and go on my son's field trip. Thirty kindergartners, a city bus, a downtown transfer and an imminent rainstorm, all at the ripe hour of 8:00 AM.

First, we missed our bus. Then as we stood waiting for the next one to arrive, my son tugged on my arm to tell me he had to poop. Of course.

I did what any self-respecting mother would do and said, "I don't know what to tell you. You're going to have to just shove it back up in there."

On the bus, we met lots of colorful characters. At one point, I mentioned to my son that our new puppy would likely pee in her cage because we would be gone so long, to which he replied, "I bet she will. I can kind of smell her pee right now." No sweetie, that's the guy standing next to me.

After the field trip, we waited an eternity for the bus to take us back downtown. We were in a lovely area of Columbus, affectionately referred to as "The Bottoms". There was lots of trash for the kids to play with and some delightful graffiti for our emerging readers. Something about someone's mom and a particular body part.

On the bus trip home, I can't decide if it was more fun to stand for half the ride, or whether it was watching my son's "buddy" touch the bottom of his shoes and then hold my son's hand as we walked back to school in the rain. When we finally got back to our car, I just went ahead and had my boy drink some hand-sanitizer.

After arriving home, I spent over an hour on the phone (45 minutes of that on hold) trying to find a baker who can make a Mario cake for my son's birthday party this weekend. Sorry kid, you're getting Matchbox cars.

Then, I cleaned pee out of the puppy's cage. Not from when we were gone for four hours in the morning, but from when I put her in there for 15 minutes so I could do some laundry. Which, makes perfect sense. Oh, and she learned how to climb the steps, so now I have two levels of house on which to chase her.

And, for the icing on the cake? I found my son had etched a self-portrait into our mahogany dining room table.


Some days, there just isn't enough wine.

Labels: A Day in the Life, Aiding the Teacher, Kids, Photos, Shameless Statements, The Places in My Neighborhood

My husband, the kids and I recently ate dinner at a local tavern called, The Winking Lizard. This restaurant is well-known for its buttery popcorn that you serve up yourself out of a giant popper (which the kids love), and also for its World Beer Tour (which the adults enjoy).

They also have a very large, glass-enclosed area where they house a live lizard. Not some pansy gecko, but a big creature the size of a tree limb. Needless to say, my six year old son was quite interested in it.

But I didn't quite grasp his excitement, because I didn't see it coming when he came back to the table after using the restroom, and loudly announced to our table and to a roomful of patrons, "Hey Dad! I just went to the bathroom and I saw the big lizard!"

Labels: Kids, Shameless Statements, The Places in My Neighborhood

When the market took a turn for the worse, I left my role as stay-at-home-mom and jumped in to help out. I took a part-time job as a teacher's aide, I sell stuff on e-bay, and I have this here blog. Altogether, that brings in about $2.56 a month.

So, I have spent the past few days looking at employment boards, though I must admit...the last time I had to send out a resume there was no internet. I know the system of applying for jobs online is supposed to be efficient, which is why I have no idea why it takes me forever.

But today, my third day at it, I managed to get through the process more effectively and I was feeling pretty proud of myself when I smiled at my daughter and said, "I did a good job today! I sent in resumes for eight different positions!"

She said, "Oh, I forgot to tell you! There's a place across from my school that's hiring!"

I asked, "Really? How do you know that?"

She replied, "Because there was a guy standing out front, dressed like a hot dog, holding up a sign."

Labels: Kids, Shameless Statements, The Places in My Neighborhood

These are four of the six Canadian men who were at my house this afternoon. Oh sorry, they were at my hoose.

They came for a visit because Hurricane Ike decided to go a little off course and do this to my Ohio backyard. Yes Canucks, those are maple leaves.

Labels: House of Horrors, Photos, Ramblings, The Places in My Neighborhood

I live in Ohio. We do not get hurricanes in Ohio. We get tornados, flash floods, and more than a few people who lose their lives to lightening each year.

But yesterday, Ike showed up for an unexpected visit and he wasn’t a very nice guest.

While we were gone for the afternoon, Ike’s remnant, hurricane-force winds took advantage of our absence and wreaked havoc on our home. He snapped a branch off our 70 foot tall maple tree like a toothpick, which then crashed down on our swing-set, fence, cable wires and electrical line.

We are just one of a half million families in the Buckeye state who may be without power for roughly a week.

We packed up the kids, dog, and all the food we could salvage and drove 20 miles to my Mom’s house. We’ll camp out here, where the kids can get good and spoiled, until things get fixed at home.

On the drive out, it was eerie to see the entire city without power, and every other house with a large limb or an entire tree down in their yard. Roads were closed, shingles were flying, and cars were crushed. I have never seen anything like it.

Despite the hassle, the inevitable death of every fish in our 55 gallon tank, the loss of income because our places of employment are shut down, the wondering if our house will catch fire because there are electrical wires laying on the roof, and the monumental mess we have to clean up…the biggest challenge will be dealing with the fact that my Mom still lives in 1975 and doesn’t have internet access.

I am thankful for so many things right now, but mostly that no one was hurt, that we don’t live in Texas, and that Panera has free Wi-Fi.

Labels: House of Horrors, Ramblings, The Places in My Neighborhood

I am 37 years old and have lived in 12 different houses and apartments. I have met, and moved away from, many different neighbors. And, I've had my fair share of bad ones.

When I was little, there was Ursula. She lived alone with her thick German accent and her very scary dogs. Dogs who may as well have been trained by Hitler himself. God forbid if they didn't heel when she told them to.

I didn't try to sell Ursula any Girl Scout cookies, and I didn't even bother collecting paper route money. You just didn't approach that house. Das war verboten!

In college, I had neighbors who made my apartment building smell like Thai food and feet. The odors that wafted under the hallway doors were bad enough that I trained myself to hold my breath from the parking lot to my unit on the second floor. The year I had to carry my bike up the steps was quite a challenge.

Shortly after that, I had my first experience with rotten neighborhood kids. Kids who threw eggs at my house and who put dog poop on my front porch. I'm not going to get into details, but just know that I got them back.

My husband and I have lived in our current home for over 10 years, and we have a great group of folks living around us. But, for the past eight months we've been feuding with our next door neighbor. Well, not so much feuding as not talking at all.

Before the silent treatment began, this was the same lady who would stop you on your way to the car, or in the middle of cutting grass, to give you a dissertation on her family life. These were not stories about her or her husband, but rather about her children, her grandchildren, her grandchildren's barber, the barber's sister, and the barber's sister's attorney's son's teacher's uncle. Literally. She is a gossip to the nth degree...and if you're going to gossip, could you at least make it about people I know?

So this not talking thing? It's really not so bad.

Forget casseroles and picking up newspapers when we're out of town. Turns out that her granddaughter wrecking into our car was the most neighborly thing anyone has ever done for us.

Labels: Ramblings, The Places in My Neighborhood

Labels: Photos, Ramblings, The Places in My Neighborhood

Labels: Family Life, Kids, Photos, The Places in My Neighborhood

My husband and I took the kids out to dinner at a new Japanese steak house nearby. You know, the kind of restaurant where they make the food right at your table, with lots of fancy knife work, spatula egg-tossing, and volcanoes made out of onions.

After we started eating our meals, our chef wiped down the cooking area with a steaming hot cloth, then he scoured it front to back, and left to right.

And, as soon as the stainless steel surface was sparkling and clean, my five year old son lopped a forkful of rice right into the middle of it.

Labels: Family Life, Kids, The Places in My Neighborhood

Labels: Kids, Photos, The Places in My Neighborhood

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Most likely, I'll just show her where I live...

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No, I'm at Target a lot, but this is my stinking rich neighbor's house.

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Though, if Bossy doesn't come soon, we may be living here...

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...which someone recently redecorated with this lovely dent.

Oh, I just can't wait! We'll laugh, and talk, and not talk, and eat soup and snow peas. And, when she leaves I think Bossy will say, "I wouldn't want to live there, but it's a lovely place to visit".

Labels: Bossy's Road Trip, Photos, Ramblings, The Places in My Neighborhood