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Momo Fali's: This is My Brain on Drugs

Friday, September 3, 2010

This is My Brain on Drugs

Much to my husband's chagrin, I am a Twitter addict. I love to curl up on the couch with my laptop after the kids have gone to bed and read what everyone is doing in 140 characters or less. I don't know why I like it, but I do.

Another great mystery is why I like to go on Twitter after I take my Ambien. Some people sleep-eat, some people make phone calls, I even know someone who took their dog to the dog park and lost him because she was on Ambien. I feel the need to say it wasn't me. Anyway, some people do crazy things on that medicine. I just send tweets.

Last night, after my girly part surgery, I went on Twitter on Dilaudid (also know as Hydromorphone). I did NOT take Dilaudid AND Ambien, because then I would be dead.

Here, for your enjoyment, are a few of my Dilaudid tweets...

I'm on Dilaudid,daf; everylook lop;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

@secretagentmama But I'm halluciantiaon in my liviner oom and I've having fn. I jusst saw a buffalo

I have to pee and I hoptea I don't fall asleep in there like I did earlign.

I dind'dt fall saleep in the bathroom PROGRSSS! Now, eating blueberyy bread and I ckind of what to marry kit.

I thought my hsubnad was hust bringing me wi-ne. I was like, "Wahtewa are you CRAWZZAZZZYY?" His handmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm was empty.

I feel asleep on "hand".

I just said to my husband athat I vfeel like everything I'm telling you is from a dream.. He said, "That's ture." I'm really confursted.

@secretagentmama duid you just calle me Jar Jar Binks? Because I think you called me Jar Jar Binks, when clearly I am Yoda.

My head is like a bobble toy right now=============================

That's not the window!

just asked my husbna if the guy on TV is named, "Major" and he said, "No, it's Rex". Dude I was THAT close.

Thank goodness, I'm no longer in pain. Though you can still look forward to the Ambien tweets. I live for your amusement, or as I told a friend earlier...I'm here to confurst you.

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Comments:
I am glad you are feeling better. Those are some good tweets! I love the word "confursted" - may have to use that! xo
 
That is awesome. I'm seriously laughing out loud. Also, because of this, I'm now following you on twitter.
 
You are awesome when you TUI - Tweet Under the Influence. I worry that I understand you and I'm not... TUI, that is.
 
Lol momo I wish I was on twitter when you were TUI. Those were some hilarious tweets.
 
Some of my favorite moments on twitter are Momo's TUI episodes. With the first multiple consonant I go pop a bag of Orville's in the microwave and grab a beer. Great stuff.
 
I'm still just frustrated that when I tweet on Ambien I never am as disoriented (ie., HILARIOUS) as you. Pshaw. Not fair!

Wait, what dosage do you take? I want to be funny!
 
When I had my coronary bypass surgery in 2003, they put me on morphine...I kept trying to get the cats out of the room...apparently I had it done at the animal hospital!

UP

glad ur feeling better!
 
I missed your TUI and, although I am sorry for your pain at the time (or, anytime, really) you made me squirt coffee out of my nose and, well, that is ALWAYS a good thing :)

(Just so you know, heard about your TUI via SuburbanWow, 'cawse, that's what blogging friends are for!)
 
too funny! I actually felt a bit afraid b/c I had no trouble reading all of that!
 
You are so funny! I love how your brain works while on drugs. hahaha!
 
And you are so damn hilarious girlie. Thanks for the entertainment!
 
Oh man. I never hallucinated OR tweeted on Dilaudid. Thank you for being a hilarious pioneer.
 
duuuuuuuuuuuude.
 
I don't tweet, but may just for these gems! LOL
 
Giggling at work does not help my professional credibility. Don't stop. :)
 
you're hilarious on drugs!
I think my favorite tweet was this one:

"I dind'dt fall saleep in the bathroom PROGRSSS! Now, eating blueberyy bread and I ckind of what to marry kit."

Ahahhahahahahahhaha
 
Oh golly. I hope when I take drugs I can be as funny as you. And, in fear of having my kids want to be this fun they will never be reading, I don't want to give them any ideas.
 
Hope your girly part surgery went well and that you are off the hallucinating drugs and back to the normal Ambien and wine.
 
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