Momo Fali's: Random Realizations II

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Random Realizations II

1. The public library is pretty much the biggest scam on the planet. Free books, free music, free movies for everyone! Take five books if you want...we trust you.

2. If my son can do something he knows is wrong, he will.

3. I love watching my kids play ball in the summer, but by the time July rolls around with her 90 degree heat and 90% humidity, and her peri-menopausal, PMS attitude (oh wait...that's me) I'm kind of over it. And, at least half of me secretly hopes they don't make it to the tournaments.

4. If you happen to be sitting under a tree at your daughter's softball game and a big purple glob plops onto your shirt and pants, you will be disgusted because you think it's bird poop. Then you will be really relieved when you realize it's just a rotten mulberry.

5. I have had bad headaches since I was eight years old. Last Tuesday, I eliminated sugar from my diet and I haven't had a headache since. You would think this would make me stop eating chocolate forever. You would be wrong.

6. When someone asks me if I'm doing Atkins or South Beach and I tell them I'm doing the Suzanne Somers diet and they laugh at me, is it wrong for me to hit them over the head with a Thighmaster?

7. Heterosexual men shouldn't walk miniature poodles. Okay to own. Not okay to walk.

8. My 10 year old daughter waits to cut her toenails until I begin referring to them as talons.

9. I asked her if she would mind if I shared that toenail tidbit, and she said, "Not as long as you post a picture of them."

10. I wouldn't do that to you.

11. If you buy a black lab puppy from a breeder because the bloodlines are healthy, and in the first eight weeks that you have her she gets a UTI, mites, two staph infections, anemia, drinks latex paint and eats a rock, you're going to want to kick yourself for not going to the pound and getting a mutt. You'll also want to kick the breeder.

12. Then you'll see her adorable puppy face and none of that will even matter.

Labels: Creature Features, Ramblings, Random Realizations

# posted by Momo Fali : 8:23 PM

Comments:

Yes, it would be totally wrong to hit that person over the head with a Thighmaster: you should put his head inside the Thighmaster and squeeze for dear life. :)

P.S. I LOVE that puppy. But you knew that.

# posted by

Melisa Wells : June 29, 2009 at 7:20 AM

You're sweating balls about all my upcoming photo ops, aren't you?

I'm not gonna be aiming for your toenails, no worries ;)

# posted by

Piper of Love : June 29, 2009 at 7:52 AM

I OWE the library the cost of the book I can't find. Isn't that lovely. I like your idea about the Thighmaster and laughed like heck over Melisa's response. When I saw your dog's photo I just went awwwwwww. He's so loveable and cute. I wanted to reach out and hug him. Thanks for your random thoughts.

# posted by

SurprisedMom : June 29, 2009 at 8:01 AM

oh my god. my daughter too. with the toenails. it's so gross.

# posted by

Ali : June 29, 2009 at 8:36 AM

2. How exactly is your son different from many adults I come in contact with? Oh, yeah, he is a kid and might actually grow out of it.

Mini poodles are cats. Those guys are walking a cat. No guy should walk a cat.~Mary

# posted by

Anonymous : June 29, 2009 at 8:37 AM

Black Labs are SO cute, but they eat like mountain goats. I watched a friend's eat MULCH. She said that she has pulled a bandanna out of him before! She asked the vet and he said that they pull lots of stuff out of labs. Good luck with that!

# posted by

Halala Mama : June 29, 2009 at 8:56 AM

Halala Mama,

I once had a black lab who ate a dead bat. I had to pull stringy bat parts out of her throat. That was loads of fun.

# posted by

Momo Fali : June 29, 2009 at 8:59 AM

I'm with you on the tournaments. I fill in for my working children hauling grandkids to games, most of which I'd attend anyway, but a lot of these games bleachers have no shade whatsoever! I bring a lawn chair and umbrella and people behind me bitch because they can't see around me. :)

# posted by

Moonshadow : June 29, 2009 at 9:46 AM

I have a yellow lab and he didn't calm down until he was 7 years old. He ate everything he could(he still tries to get food off of the table)

# posted by

Jason : June 29, 2009 at 10:30 AM

I have to cut my nails the second they FEEL long. It makes me crazy. Don't understand the whole nail thing.

When your daughter DOES cut them, save 'em . They make good guitar picks. (Clean 'em first)

Pets + money = Kids.

With you on the "hope they don't make it 50%. Not that you don't want them to win. Its just you need some time for yourself. A rare moment.

Fun post!

# posted by

Oscar : June 29, 2009 at 10:36 AM

Still disgusted over the mulberry. Better than bird poop, but still...blech!

# posted by

Lynn : June 29, 2009 at 10:38 AM

When did your puppy get so BIG??

As for toenails, I have to pin my kids down to cut theirs. Yes, yes I do.

# posted by

Angella : June 29, 2009 at 10:47 AM

#6: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I think it would be wrong NOT to!

# posted by

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins : June 29, 2009 at 11:52 AM

So, wait. Are you saying that sugar is bad for you? Because my life might not actually be worth living if that were true. It's not true. It's NOT!

# posted by

Lynn @ Walking With Scissors : June 29, 2009 at 12:31 PM

Hilarious. I knew those Library folks were up to something sinister.

# posted by

James (SeattleDad) : June 29, 2009 at 5:01 PM

Cute Lab! Reminds me of my Chocolate. And man... are Labs a handfull when they're pups!!! LOL!

# posted by

Unknown : June 29, 2009 at 7:13 PM

i'm sorry, i lost you after you mentioned chocolate....

# posted by

the planet of janet : June 29, 2009 at 7:14 PM

Cute dog.
My daughter is the same way when it comes to the toe nails.

My kids do not play ball but I remember the long summers when my brother did and we went to every game. And he always made all stars so we went until August most years.

# posted by

Kimberly Wright : June 29, 2009 at 10:11 PM

That is, without a doubt, THE largest black lab puppy head I have ever seen. It's ginormous. There are countries in Africa that don't occupy that much space.

# posted by

NukeDad : June 29, 2009 at 10:24 PM

Hey, I work at the library and no we don't trust you. That's why we ask for so much personal information. Love the toenail tallons. Now inappropriately sharing that middle monkey chews his toenails, ewwwww.

# posted by

Aunt Debbi/kurts mom : June 29, 2009 at 11:04 PM

I have a Golden Retriever and a Chocolate Lab. They need to chew. Literally, it's a physical need. Invest in some rawhide and you'll have a lot less damage around the house in the years to come. They are such great dogs and they don't MEAN to chew up your entire set of patio furniture ...

# posted by

Twenty Four At Heart : June 30, 2009 at 1:51 AM

I loved the style of this entry-- So much that I'm copying it right now & doing my own entry HAH!

:)

ps: your son can get away with whatever he wants because he's SO CUTE.

pps: i ALSO hate going to my sister's softball games by now.

ppps: i LOVE YOUR PUPPY AND I WANT TO STEAL HIM.

xo

# posted by

Anonymous : June 30, 2009 at 2:58 AM

Seee, that's why you should've rescued. Not that I'm saying I told you so or anything. =D
And uh, give up chocolate?? That's the most disgusting thing I've read in a long time....maybe EVER.

# posted by

Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional : June 30, 2009 at 3:43 AM

Thanks for not posting pics of the toenails or the rotten mulberry.

# posted by

WeaselMomma : June 30, 2009 at 8:17 AM

The answer to the diet problem? Denial. Don't tell people you're on one. And if they question what you're eating, act like you don't know what they're talking about, or make something up, such as saying that bread gives you extreme flatulence.

# posted by

Aunt Juicebox : June 30, 2009 at 9:08 AM

I swear I had something intelligent to say, but then I saw the photo and all that's left is "LAB FACE!!" I want to flap her floppy ears and go "wooba wooba" on her floppy lips! <3

# posted by

velocibadgergirl : June 30, 2009 at 12:10 PM

I came over from Heather's blog to say hello. enJOY your day!

# posted by

Cheffie-Mom : June 30, 2009 at 5:15 PM

#10--Yowsers.
#4--Ask the kid who had a young falcon overhead in downtown San Jose. Which couldn't quite hold onto the pigeon that weighed nearly as much as it did, and dropped it. Missed!

# posted by

AlisonH : July 1, 2009 at 1:23 AM

that really is such a cute puppy face!!

# posted by

meleah rebeccah : July 1, 2009 at 3:00 PM

I love your puppies face.. I want to eat him up..

and your eliminating sugar diet.. you are like super woman.. how do you do that?

# posted by

Kim : July 1, 2009 at 3:41 PM

I like no. 6 :)

# posted by

tanya25m : July 2, 2009 at 12:09 AM

-->My older lab "puppy" turned 13 today. She has had her moments but we love her all the same. Now for our 4-yr old lab...we're getting there. ha!

www.WebSavyMom.com

# posted by

Deb : July 2, 2009 at 9:14 AM

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Random Realizations II

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