Momo Fali's: Word Police

Friday, January 2, 2009

Word Police

My six year old son, who has a penchant for blatant honesty and who often makes people uncomfortable (Read: Me) with his embarrassing remarks, has begun to develop some manners. Recently, he started apologizing in advance before hurling insults or doing something wrong.

"Mom I'm sorry to do this, but I'm going to step on the dog's tail."

"Mom I'm sorry to say this, but you have really big feet."

The good news, is that he is finally understanding right from wrong. The bad news, is that he still doesn't mind being wrong.

Last week, we were watching A Christmas Story ("You'll shoot your eye out!") with the kids when Ralphie's father blurted out, "Smartass."

I said, "Whoops. I forgot that there was a bad word in this movie."

My son asked, "What? What bad word?"

I replied, "I'm not going to say it. It was bad."

Completely dissatisfied with my answer, my boy questioned me further. "Did he say stupid?"

I shook my head.

He asked, "Was it dumb?"

I said, "No."

Then came the pre-apology.

"Mom I'm sorry to ask this, but did that guy say balls?"

Labels: Family Life, Kids, Shameless Statements

# posted by Momo Fali : 9:19 AM

Comments:

Your kids crack me up. Mine always say "no offense, but...."

# posted by

WeaselMomma : January 2, 2009 at 10:07 AM

Bwah ha ha haaaa! Did he say balls? I said son of a bitch the other day in the man-van, but in my defense I was stuck in the snow on the cold tundra with my poor helpless wife and children. Ok, I was actually on my block and was coming home with the groceries, but still.

# posted by

Captain Dumbass : January 2, 2009 at 12:12 PM

HA!! HAHAHAHAH!!
I swear. He needs to be the subject of a children's book.

You know those books about 'David'?
Like that.

# posted by

María : January 2, 2009 at 2:13 PM

Thanks to her big brothers, that word, in THAT context, is now a part of NukeGirl's vocabulary as well.

# posted by

Anonymous : January 2, 2009 at 3:09 PM

LMAO!!! toooooo funny!

# posted by

Unknown : January 2, 2009 at 3:51 PM

That kid might be onto something there. It could change the face of all social interaction as we know it. I'm going to troll you on your next post. I'm sorry in advance.

# posted by

BusyDad : January 2, 2009 at 4:06 PM

hahaha Love it. What a cutie. Can't wait to hear what comes out next. That's is a fun age for boys.

# posted by

Rhea : January 2, 2009 at 4:08 PM

love him!

My son did something similar with "I don't want to hurt your feelings, but-"

# posted by

Marinka : January 2, 2009 at 4:14 PM

I got nothin. At least he apologized I guess..

# posted by

Kat : January 2, 2009 at 4:42 PM

better than my 3 y/o g-kid. he was mad at his mom the other day and said something along the lines of grrrrr f*cking mommy.

no appology was given. in advance or otherwise. i kept warning her to watch what she said around him. now, maybe she'll listen to me :)

# posted by

nonna : January 2, 2009 at 4:51 PM

You son is way too cute and insanely funny!

# posted by

Anonymous : January 2, 2009 at 5:57 PM

genuinely laugh out loud material.

# posted by

Martin : January 2, 2009 at 6:05 PM

HEe hee hee. Oh you made me snort. My husband thinks I'm so much less attractive now. Thanks.

Happy New Year. Mwah.

# posted by

Jo Beaufoix : January 2, 2009 at 6:43 PM

Manners are always good...

# posted by

Ashley : January 2, 2009 at 6:44 PM

He's got the first step down pat. The rest will fall into place with time. Sometimes.

# posted by

Anonymous : January 2, 2009 at 8:42 PM

so funny!! and to think...balls is every other word out of my childrens mouths. and stupid. and smartass. and jackass.
they make me so proud. :)

# posted by

Anonymous : January 2, 2009 at 8:52 PM

My son is convinced that "Fudge" is a bad word, thanks to that movie. :)

# posted by

MommyTime : January 2, 2009 at 9:35 PM

Please.. please bring him to BlogHer?? PLEASE.. :)

# posted by

Anonymous : January 2, 2009 at 10:26 PM

I'll bet the next time he watches that movie, he'll be listening extra carefully. :)

# posted by

musingwoman : January 2, 2009 at 10:27 PM

Now thats truly, priceless. I suppose he is like many adults, we sin knowing we will sin then repent afterwords. Classic. Balls...

# posted by

Surfer Jay : January 2, 2009 at 11:45 PM

LOL--that's hilarious.

# posted by

Josi : January 3, 2009 at 12:27 AM

love that! i'm sorry to say this, but i do. so funny, that kid!

# posted by

Natalie : January 3, 2009 at 12:37 AM

I don't have anything to say other than your kid is hilarious. He should write for Saturday night live.

# posted by

Soge shirts : January 3, 2009 at 12:56 AM

I think I can learn from your son. I'll start tomorrow! "I'm so sorry I think you're an ass." OR "Terribly sorry you dressed like a ho today!" He's brilliant!

# posted by

Anonymous : January 3, 2009 at 1:09 AM

OMG-That's hilarious. Love it! Reminds me of Kyle coming home from kindergarten and announcing cockily, "Hey, Mom! I know the three "S-words!" Calmly, I asked, "Oh really? Can you whisper them to me?" His reply, "Stupid! Shut up! and Sucks!"

# posted by

Mrs4444 : January 3, 2009 at 1:26 AM

Your boy just cracks me up. If nuts and balls are "bad words", I am in so much trouble for not enforcing the unacceptable vocabulary words rule.

# posted by

Aunt Debbi/kurts mom : January 3, 2009 at 2:29 AM

I have a six year old, and I get scolded often for saying stupid and the like. Your kid sounds hilarious. I don't think my daughter has ever apologized for saying something inappropriate. Thanks for stopping by my blog!

# posted by

Brooke : January 3, 2009 at 9:18 AM

Mom: "Yes, yes he did. It just sounded like 'dumbass'".

I'd say he is learning some manners. Diplomat, perhaps?

# posted by

Irish Gumbo : January 3, 2009 at 9:57 AM

I heart your son.

Mine says something offensive and then says, "but no offense!"...like that makes it all better.

# posted by

Mama Dawg : January 3, 2009 at 10:56 AM

I'm thinking that in a few years he will stop saying "sorry" and just go right for the jugular. But I might be wrong.

# posted by

Anonymous : January 3, 2009 at 11:26 AM

for this reason i never point out there there was a bad word anywhere. And for this reason alone, at the top of her lungs, is why Genny asks, in Target, "what is a bitch, anyway?"
hmmm.

# posted by

Misty : January 3, 2009 at 1:50 PM

Thanks for the much needed smile. :)

# posted by

Corey~living and loving : January 4, 2009 at 1:58 AM

I miss that boy!!

# posted by

isla : January 4, 2009 at 5:38 PM

Bahahaha! I almost spit out my green tea...thank goodness b/c I just cleaned my darned computer screen. That boy is always good for a hardy laugh. Hope you had a great New Year!

# posted by

Whiney Momma : January 4, 2009 at 9:04 PM

I'm going through that movie in my head, having seen it a gazillion times, and I don't remember him ever uttering that word. Now I'll have to watch it again - out of season.
As for your son: I think he's not clear on the purpose of the apology. But he's got a great career in marketing ahead of him.

# posted by

Tom : January 5, 2009 at 7:13 AM

Very funny story.
He apologizes first and then says what he genuinely thinks.
So … just how big are your feet?

# posted by

Practically Joe : January 5, 2009 at 11:39 AM

I'm sorry to say this, but your son's hilarious.

# posted by

yellaphant : January 5, 2009 at 11:56 AM

At 9, my daughter is the word police. I have a potty mouth, and I try to control it around my kids...but traffic makes me nuts and sometimes I slip. It invariably results in a "MOM!" at full volume - no matter how quietly I was muttering.

# posted by

laurelei : January 5, 2009 at 2:40 PM

I have to remind myself to not be eating or drinking when reading your posts -- cos OMG that's funny. Now I must find a napkin and clean up this mess.

# posted by

Genevieve Hinson : January 5, 2009 at 3:30 PM

LOL - oh I can almost see his face. ;)

Hey girl - Happy New Years to you and the fam!!

# posted by

Anonymous : January 5, 2009 at 6:17 PM

I'm sorry to say this, but I may have to steal this technique.

# posted by

LiteralDan : January 6, 2009 at 4:01 AM

*snort*!

# posted by

Birdie : January 6, 2009 at 4:10 PM

Lol, he's making progress at least, right?

# posted by

Jaina : January 6, 2009 at 6:28 PM

Oh, that boy!

# posted by

Dapoppins : January 7, 2009 at 3:10 PM

that's hilarious. i have again spit drink out my nose.

my daughter always says 'no offense but...' and i keep saying 'why don't you just not offend me?'

# posted by

holly : January 8, 2009 at 12:31 PM

As my grandpa would have said, "That boy is a corker", meaning he is FUNNY!

# posted by

Michaelle : February 3, 2009 at 8:27 AM

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