A couple of years ago I was at a restaurant with my friend, Bean, enjoying some cold beer and an order of spinach and artichoke dip when our waitress came by the table to see how we were doing. She stayed to chat for a few minutes.

After she walked away, Bean looked at me and said, "You have some spinach in your teeth."

"What?"

"You have some spinach in your teeth."

I had not taken a bite since before our server stopped by. "Seriously? You mean, it was there the whole time we were talking to her?"

Bean replied, "Well, I didn't want to say anything in front of her. Maybe she didn't notice."

"Right! Because all that laughing and smiling was completely hiding my teeth!"

Night before last, I went to happy hour with my husband and some of his employees. There was a woman sitting directly across from me whom I had never met.

Because she could apparently sense how boring I am, she ordered a shot of tequila as soon as I sat down. After she had finished, I noticed a bit of salt was left on her cheek.

Bean went and traumatized me, so I couldn't take my eyes off of the salt and I felt like I had to tell her. After a few seconds, I leaned across the table and discreetly said, "You have a little something on your cheek."

She thanked me and we went about our evening. I sat next to my husband's boss and talked for about an hour before leaving.

And wouldn't you know that when I arrived at home I looked in my bathroom mirror to find a lovely chunk of fried mozzarella stuck to my chin?

Labels: Ramblings