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Momo Fali's: Perspective

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


The way I look at the world has changed. It’s not because I’m getting older and it’s, for sure, not because I’m getting any wiser. It’s because I am the parent of a child who doesn’t fit the mold.

My son is not typical. He is not autistic, he doesn’t have Downs, there is no disease, disorder, or diagnosis of any kind. On one hand, that’s something for which I am happy. On the other hand, it can sometimes be frustrating.

The geneticists were sure there would be some way to classify him, but after extensive testing they came up with nothing. He is an enigma.

His expressive speech is that of a three year old, yet his teacher says he’s gifted. He is still in need of therapy, but our county agency doesn’t want to pay for it anymore because his I.Q. is too high.

He has a hearing loss, but it’s not something a hearing aid can help. He loves music, but can not sing you a song. He can read a book, but can’t tell you what it was about after he closes the cover. Yet, he can take a computer test on that book the next day and get every question right. So far this school year, he has taken 103 such tests.

His defective heart is stable enough that he can ride roller coasters and play sports, but an anesthesiologist at an outpatient surgery center won’t touch him because he’s a “heart kid”. Something as simple as ear tubes requires a trip to the hospital. A tonsillectomy meant an overnight stay in the ICU.

He’ll be seven in May, and as of Sunday he weighed 37 pounds. He can ride a bike, but can barely reach the pedals.

His is different. He is special. And, you know what? It's all in how you look at things. My kid’s clock may turn counter-clockwise, but he still knows what time it is.

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Any way you look at it, that kid ROCKS. That is unchanging, Momo.
I love this post, Momo. It was very well-written, and gives me something new to think about*!

*Which, by the way, I'm not *totally* sure I'm happy about, since my brain hurts already today...just kidding. I'll make room for it. :)
Thank you for posting this. As the mother of a unique child myself (though am not making comparisons, as our trials are not nearly as extensive as your have been/are), this heartens me.
Different isn't bad, special isn't weird. But it's hard being different and special though. (not that I would know, I 'm just WEIRD)

Nice post, Momo. He's got a great mom, and that counts for a lot.
I think there about forty people I could copy this to who could use this wake up call on perspective. I know I did.

Your love for you boy just pours through.
I've heard it said that God gives the special kids to the really good moms and dads.

He sounds like a really great little guy. You remain in our prayers.
Your son sounds like one tough kid and has a great mom that gives him all the love and support he needs.
You read my thoughts a little didn't you?

Props for your son, he aiight.

And props to you, Mama MoMo.

You rock :). This was a beautiful post.
it's okay. my sister is almost the same, and she's 33. she made it in this world, and your son will too. he will rule it. i would vote for him!
My daughter has sensory issues, even though she's never been formally diagnosed...I have learned that every child is an individual and that for every child there is a different way to accomplish the same thing.

Once I learned that things would be different for us, things became so much easier.
My youngest son (now 13) still fails to fit into any category. I was told at one point he needed special ed and at another that he needed to be in a class for the gifted. I paid a couple thousand dollars to have him privately put thru all sorts of tests ... and the tests came back an "enigma" to the people administering them. He, like your son, doesn't fit into any category. And although for years I was frustrated by it ... now I am glad.
This is such a sweet tribute, but by the stories you have written, he's more witty than most adults I know, I'll say he knows what time it is!
I love this. I absolutely love this post.

I think it is just fabulous and is so dead on.

Great tribute--he sounds like a PERFECT boy!
perfectly perfect! love your perspective so very much! that boy of yours is amazing!
Incredible. Amazing post about an even more amazing little kid!
i could say my heart goes out to you, but i don't think you need or want sympathy. it sounds to me like you have a great kid and know it.

i do wish you didn't have to deal with the idiots of the world that make your life harder than it needs to be.

i hope you can overcome the morons that try to throw obstacles in your way to helping your son get the help he deserves whether it's physical, mental, or emotional.
I really needed to read this tonight. We have two boys that don't seem to fit a mold and have had trouble and frustration getting them what they need education wise. I love your perspective and I am adopting it. Thanks

Great, inspirational post. I'm still doing the finger thing. It makes sense. Then it doesn't. That's life, huh?
This was a great post. I was really moved reading about your precious boy. Thanks for sharing!
Amen woman! I embrace that my son is different. I never expected my kids to be like the others though I certainly didn't expect the route we're taking. I agree with Tom (way up in the comments) that the special ones are given to the really good moms and dads. I will say though, sometimes we don't feel all that good at the job. I've become a believer in the Lord doesn't give you more than you can handle. I have to believe in that. Sometimes, that little bit of faith? It's all that I need to get through the day. Keep doing the great job and don't stop sharing him with us.
Your son? RULES.

There is NO NEED to label a boy like him. He has provide me with many a laugh and sometimes a hearty scare.

But when its all said and done?
I LOVE your son.
That was beautiful...
I know that 20 people just told you this post was great, but this was a great post, Momo.
Wonderful post Momo! The video is a perfect match too.

Congrats to the boy. He is really awesome.
He sounds awesome to me. He can look at the world like no other and show that world to you.
Thank God your son was given a Mother that appreciates his wonderful unique gifts, and doesn’t try to make him into the ‘norm’. *shudder* I used to work as a Montessori directress with 3-6 year olds. I quit because of the parents and their overwhelming pressure to make their child a genius. I would have loved to have your son in my classroom for us all to learn from.
I loved this.
Every word.
And the video was the icing.
you rock, and he rocks because of the awesomeness of you.

I want to crawl inside your pocket and just watch you for a while. Absorb some of your grace and laughter.
Ahhh Momo.

You and your son change my perspective every day.

Thank you.
Momo, your perspective is dead-on, and we're all glad you choose to share it with us.
Wow. Your story and that video are inspiring and eye-opening.

You have no idea how that hit home.

My 4yo daughter is also highly-gifted, but won't be tested accurately because of her acute anxiety disorder. She's highly-verbal, but won't talk to strangers OF ANY KIND. She's extremely physical, but she won't perform when asked.

This will be a very interesting next 20 years...
Nice. Really nice.
I love you and this made me sob.
Crap, Blogger ate my comment for lunch.

As I was saying, I have a kid like this too. None of the labels fit him, even the normal ones. But he's so unbelievably smart.

Perspective is everything.

BTW, if you haven't read it, I highly recommend Barbara Probst's book, When The Labels Don't Fit. Must read for moms like us, IMO.
I LOVE your son. Love him. You know that. He's great, and forget the labels. :)

And that guy in the video? I was getting lost in his dimples. LOL
This was a fantastic post, Momo. Loved it. And love that kid of yours. :)
your son is more than special. he's a fantastic gift-- one that i wish i knew personally and played with, was entertained by, and hung out with on a regular basis.

and his momma is pretty fantastic, too.
I love the way you write about him, and I'm sure despite your talent at writing, you don't do him justice, I'm sure he's even better than he sounds. And hey, he's got a mom like you. Life has a way of equaling out.
Love this. Especially the last line. :)
Are you sure he's not an indigo child?? highly evolved & gifted kid.
He's pretty lucky to have such a great mom!
Excellent post.

I have a friend whose son is similar. She refers to him as "falling off both ends of the scale". I'm forwarding this post to her, I think she'll appreciate it. BTW, her son is now 13 and a most excellent kid.
Thank you for such a great post. I am a firm believer in paying attention to perspective.
What a great post. Reminds me of my stepson, a little.
LOVE the last line!
I'm happy that you see him that way. You're a wonderful mom. And he's a wonderful kid.
*standing up and applauding wildly*

you have written a beautiful tribute to your beautiful boy. molds are meant to be broken.
Plus he makes me laugh hysterically when you post his little quips. God made that boy extra special.
That is so beautiful. I love that video clip too. Got your blog from the motherhood!
Your son is perfect in every way. How else would he be able to give you such awesome fodder for your blog?
since his 3rd day on this planet, my son has definitely changed my perspective on not only modern medicine, but in humanity and more importantly-in me.

If only everyone could "get it."

Labels are overrated. He's so cool he's making his own. More power to him. :)
This is why they invented the phrase, "There's more than one way to skin a cat."

His way will probably always be the coolest and most interesting.
What an AMAZING post. Seriously. Also I totally got sucked into YouTube watching all the videos of that guy.
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