I would make a horrible beggar. I've come to this conclusion because I'm starting to notice that whenever anyone does something really nice, it almost always brings me to tears.

I had my first generosity-meltdown a few years ago. It was Thanksgiving, and our son was very, very sick with a blood infection. We had spent the previous day at the ER and instead of admitting him to the hospital, they prescribed a $300.00 bottle of antibiotics. Other than seven days worth of IV meds, it was the only thing that could fight the bacteria. Well, being that this kid doesn't do anything without making it harder first, he decided that as soon as one drop of that medicine hit his tongue, he would get violently ill. I can't blame him, considering the taste reminded me of the time I was dared by my elementary school "friends" to lick a light pole. Mmmmm....wet steel, covered with stranger's fingerprints and dog pee. DEEE-licious!

So, we made an emergency call to the doctor on Thanksgiving morning, just knowing we were about to get sent to the hospital for a week long stay. But instead, our wonderful pediatrician offered to open her office, AFTER making Thanksgiving dinner for a house full of people, to put in an IV port. We made arrangements for a nurse, who also happens to be my son's aunt, to come to our house every day to give him his meds. You can't imagine how happy we were that our lives didn't have to be turned upside down. Our son didn't have to spend a week in the hospital, and he was in the comfort of his own home when he was very sick. I cried every day during that time, because things could've been much different. And, I was so grateful they weren't.

When my husband was between jobs and we were low on money, my hairdresser gave me a free haircut. I cried like a baby right there in the salon. When I think of the time my Mom gave a classroom of developmentally disabled children $5.00 each at the Secret Santa giftshop, or when my husband gives money to people on the street, I get misty. When I envision all the men and women who serve this country, I weep. And, even though my neighbor knows I'm scared to death of her cat, she brought me a dozen roses today for taking care of him, and I almost blubbered in her face.

I have come to accept that I am an emotional wimp when it comes to generosity. And, as much as I want to simply thank you, please know I can't help it if I simply boo hoo.

Labels: Ramblings